A Final Date

Well, we have an official date for when our little guy should be here. Being induced on Monday the 16th. There was once again no progress at my appointment earlier this week, so, we went ahead and scheduled an induction. I was super excited about it at first, because i figured if it was all scheduled ahead of time then we could arrange to have Caleb there....but no such luck. The American Red Cross won't send word to his base unless its a medical emergency, and because of heightened security right now there is no way Caleb can be allowed to leave without that message. So, needless to say, i was ticked off...thinking a million angry, mean things, and swearing i'd never again give blood for those horrible red cross people! Any attempts to calm me down or even pity me only made me more angry...and Caleb was pretty much heartbroken over the fact that he won't be there. But I suppose thats what i get for trying to plan these types of things, and getting my heart set on something that has to be approved by the military... i can hear my dad's voice in my head reminding me "its all a bunch of hurry-up and wait!" but i wasnt listening to that voice beforehand, and now i've paid the consequences of extreme disappointment....way to go me! So now i'm just waiting until Monday, and wishing people would just stop asking me when Caleb is coming. He's not...don't know if he'll be allowed to...don't know how long he can stay...don't even know anything at all. Its all alot more frustrating than i remember it being...but inspite of it, i'm remaining mostly positive. but i cant promise not to punch the next person who bugs me about him missing it. I will once again call the red cross on monday, this time when in labor, and see if they will send a message. if they won't, then after the birth they will have to. then Caleb should be able to find out what kind of leave and how much they will give him and when. nothing will be known until after that red cross message is sent, and thats the bottom line. but i am confidant that despite however it works out, things will turn out ok, and it will work out in the way Heavenly Father intends it to. Even if it isn't how i want it to work out, i will survive. im learning to see this whole experience in a different light, even though its not enjoyable whatsoever... its definently a learning experience. And i am grateful to have my mom here with me for all of this. if i cant have Caleb with me, the next best thing is my Mommy.

Anxiously Waiting

And waiting.....and waiting....and waiting....

Pretty much thats all life consists of right now. Just continuely trying to remind myself to be PATIENT and he'll come when he's ready!!!!! I never expected it to be like this. But all i can say, is that i am ready to hold my baby, and i'm ready to see my hubby. My Doctor's Appointment last week was not as encouraging as i'd hoped due to the fact that i still have not continued to progress. Grr! But... if that is still the case this Tuesday then we will start talking induction. Which scares me a bit to tell you the truth... but at the same time.... if i were to get induced there is a million more times a chance that Caleb will be there with me. Which i would LOVE! So now i'm just trying to hang on two more days until the doctor says whether Connor will be making an appearance on his own, or whether we will be gettin him out whether he likes it or not! I'm nervous and excited, but mainly anxious. My mom and me have been doing our best to keep busy with little projects (mainly scrapbooking) and lots and lots of walks. But my little guy still insists on being stubborn! Caleb said he must get that from me :) hehe. The waiting game is really starting to kill me! My due date is on Friday, and my doctor doesn't want to let me go too far past it, so i think its safe to say that within 2 weeks he will be out FOR SURE!!!!!! atleast that thought gives me a bit of peace lol. :) stay tuned for updates!

Mommy to the Rescue!!!!!!

My mommy is here with me now :) she came down wednesday night, because at my doc app appointment on tuesday the doc said im dialated to a 1 and 50% effaced already. i know that isn't a big deal for some women, but i don't know if i'm one of them or not, and it is much better to be safe than sorry....so my mommy came down to be with me so i am not alone. we will see how i am at the next appointment in 2 days. part of me hopes it wont be too much longer because i dont want to take my mom away from the family for a majorly long time... but i just dont know. caleb talked to one of his sergeants and they told him he'll probably only get a weekend to come home, so now im thinking theres probably only a tiny chance he'll be here for the birth....but im trying not to panic and definently not to make him feel worse about it! my mom has been helping me get everything ready, and i've even put a picture of him in the hospital bag so he'll be with me no matter what. kinda cheesy i know...but it helped me feel less worried. i'm beginning to get excited to hold my little guy... :) due in less than 3 weeks now!

Visiting My Love

i am back from SC and seeing Caleb!!!! :) it was an amazing trip and I'm soooooo glad i got to go! and Caleb DID end up getting a weekend pass after reporting to AIT, so i got to spend a couple more days with him :). it was expensive, but worth it. And now things are going alot easier, since he gets a few hrs of personal time every day AND has his phone. so we can txt everyday, and talk on the phone :) and he has internet access to email and facebook! so far its making the continued separation much easier on me. he seems pretty excited about his MOS, which is 25U... something to do with computers and radios and technology lol. I'm just glad he finished his BCT and is excited about what is coming next for him :).

Jessica went home to Idaho today. She's probably on the plane right now as i'm writing this. i think she enjoyed her stay with me here, and i know she made ALOT of new friends, and i'm just glad she was able to make some good memories and make it a learning experience. I think she will have just as good of a time back at BYU-I. Now that she is gone, i'm going to be devoting my time to preparing the house for the baby, and gettting all of his things set up :) i'm probably going to start putting together a hospital bag soon. i'm beginning to get really nervous, and i'm trying to be as prepared as i possibly can lol. kinda pathetic i know. Melinda and Mitchell had their baby on the 1st. she was induced the 31st, and was exhausted by the end of the labor, but it went just fine. They named him Elisha Mitchell Hill. and he was born at 1:13 am, 8 lbs 13 ozs, 23 inches long. he was a big  boy! Makes me kinda of nervous about our little guy, but Eli is so cute that i start getting excited to meet my little Connor. Caleb is really excited too :) we're still hoping and praying they will give him a nice amount of leave so he can come home and spend some time with us. That is what i'm most stressed about. I'm terrified he won't even be here for the birth. so i try not to think about it.... but i know it worries him too. but i guess we just have to accept whatever happens and have faith.

1 Year Down

The 27th marked our 1 yr anniversary! it was hard spending it alone, but i was super excited because he got to call me! :) it definently made my day. and earlier this week i woke up to a wonderful anniversary gift from him, with a little help from jessie. he wrote her a letter a few weeks ago asking her to do this. i got a dozen red roses and chocolate covered strawberries! i woke up and they were on the table with a little note from him :) i was soooo excited! he planned it out ahead of time all on his own! he also sent me a special letter this last week for it too :) so all in all, it was a good anniversary :)

its been a rough week since i haven't been able to mail him letters :(. but i got three from him wednesday, and in it he told me that he gets to spend thursday night with me before i drive him to AIT on friday! i am SUPER excited! i'm still hoping he gets a weekend pass at AIT once he checks in, but he said he will not know until that day. so i must be patient, try to estimate costs, and wait and see what happens. we are down to exactly a week until i fly to SC! i started packing today, and i've been working on a list of any last minute things i will need to buy to be ready. i have pretty much everything i need, there's just a few lingering things that i have procrastinated getting.  but i will DEFINENTY be ready!

This week is my last week of work. i work tomorrow and friday and that is it! i admit i will miss my employee discount though lol. i still have a bunch of little baby things to get, and i KNOW the cost are going to add up! but i will just not complain, and buy the things i need like every other normal new parent. I had to call out sick from work yesterday because of not feeling so swell. i somehow managed to have a hypoglycemic "episode" as the nurse called it lol. i nearly passed out, and couldn't even walk! i fell over and hit the wall. i did NOT feel good! i couldn't stand for more than like a minute either. i tried getting some food into me, but it didn't solve the problem. it took all day to get back to normal. and by all  day i mean til this morning. i was laying in bed pretty much all day yesterday, and eating, and drinking water. it just took me a while to recover. it definitely scared me though. and last week i had Bronchitis, so i've just been having quite an interesting time these last few weeks! i am determined to be in perfect health for my trip to see Caleb!

This week Caleb's Company is doing their last major event, called Victory Forge! It is a 4 day over-nighter, where they take pretty much all the skills they've learned and use them to accomplish all these different things. He was pretty excited about it in his letter :) i hope its really fun for him! i did read on facebook though that the weather there is pretty nasty right now and all the SIT's are probably completely miserable :(. i'm hoping its not too tough on them, and that they don't get sick. they're almost done!!! just one more week! and Caleb said after this, they pretty much don't do anything, so i guess they really only have 2 more days lol. i'm very excited for Caleb :) i can't wait to see him!!!!

Getting Closer!

I got another phone call from Caleb this week! :) he called the 18th! he needed to talk to me about Graduation plans and make sure i am FOR SURE driving him to AIT after Graduation! He needed to give a final answer to his DS's so they knew whether or not they need to arrange his transportation. I'm starting to get really excited!!! only 2 1/2 more weeks til i get to see him!!!! i got letters from him this last week too and it sounds like he's getting super excited! he said he can't wait for me to see him in uniform! pretty darn sure i'm gonna melt :) i HAVE always had a weakness for a man in uniform!!!

I've been sick the last couple weeks and developed a real nasty cough :( I've already lost my voice multiple times too! I'm going to talk to my doctor at my appointment in the morning and find out what i can do to get better before Grad. i have been so exhausted that I'm concerned about my energy and sleeping and eating. i need to make sure I'm in good enough condition for her to approve me to fly, and i need to be able to be healthy so Connor isn't affected by it! I have a bit or a worry its Bronchitis... but I'm hoping my Doc will tell me its no big deal, and tell me what to do to get better. i was sick when Caleb called, but i told him not to worry. i hope he isn't worrying. I'm going to try to write him really quick before i mail letters out tomorrow so that he knows ASAP that my Doc says I'm fine.

I took my first Childbirth Prep class this week and I've been learning a lot! I'm really glad Caleb convinced me to take it :). i also did an OB Orientation class, and an Epidural Class, and i got a tour of the hospital Maternity Center. i feel like I'm doing pretty good at getting prepared, and i think it will be a lot less scary of an experience for me now! still crossing my fingers Caleb will make it home in time and won't miss it! that decision will be left up to his Commanding Officers at AIT. I'm hoping and praying they are understanding and that it doesn't affect his training too much!

A Day of Shopping and the Perfect Phone Call!

Yesterday Jessica and i decided to spend the whole day shopping and hanging out. i was determined to find the perfect little sun dress for Caleb's graduation. And i DID find it, and a lot more other stuff too ;) lol. But, the most exciting part of the day was that i got a phone call from my hubby!!!!! :) he has the most perfect timing. exactly when he called i was standing in one of the few places in the store that actually had service!!!! i was SOOOO grateful, because i would have been horribly heartbroken if I'd missed it! i had a bit of a crummy week, and definitely needed some cheering up. the first thing he asks me is "so what are you doing?" to which i responded "uh....spending money...????" lol he didn't mind when i told him i was getting something pretty to wear for him. but i still feel horribly guilty about the amount of money i spent! i hope he's excited to see! :) i got the perfect little maternity dress for grad, as well as a new outfit for family day :) and then a few other maternity things i needed. I've finally reached a point in this pregnancy where i just can't squeeze myself into normal things anymore! Kind of pathetic that i had to be 31 wks along before i hit that point lol. but i suppose its better to be little than to be ginormous!

Caleb sounded really good when i talked to him :) that may have just been because he was excited to talk to me, but I'm just telling myself that its because he's happy to be there and enjoying himself. They had a super long week this last week, and next week is supposed to be very busy also. They got fitted for their berets and dress blue's! Caleb seemed a bit disappointed that they are wearing ACU's for grad, but I'm still excited either way to see him in uniform! :) They did a really long march, and got to learn how to infiltrate buildings and other fancy sounding stuff lol. even though he was busy all week, he sent me a letter! Caleb said there should be one on the way, but he didn't know when I'd get it. But he made it sound like he'd mailed it earlier in the week, so I'm hoping it gets here Monday! i would be so happy if it did! <3 i mailed him a letter nearly every day this last week. I had some drama that over-stressed me a ton the beginning of the week, and then the end i managed to wear myself out too a point of complete exhaustion, and a mental breakdown like i haven't had in ages was the result. But Caleb was very sweet and listened to me tell him about it on the phone yesterday, and he didn't lecture me or get annoyed. I'm sure he probably had more exciting things to tell me instead of listening, but that's still what he did. :) i sure love him!!!!!!