Holiday Crazies

I don't think I've ever fully realized how crazy it gets during the holidays!!! This year has cured me of any naive assumptions that the holidays are all relaxation and fun. Now that thanksgiving is over, i don't think it has any intention of slowing down until after new years is over. ugh. working in retail has definitely opened my eyes to the holiday rush. Working Black Friday was QUITE the experience. why is it that everyone is so focused on themselves during the holidays, instead of wanting to spread the holiday cheer???? i just find it completely wacko.

I was lucky enough to get Thanksgiving day off, and so Caleb and i made ourselves a delicious feast, including a turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, and pumpkin pie! i would say it was definitely a success. i felt bad because Caleb did most of the cooking.... but it tasted sooooo yummy! he is definitely a better cook then i am. Caleb's mom sent us pictures of the girls and her, and i got to call my mom and talk to her and my sisters. Deanna and the girls went to Cascade and stayed in a hotel and went out for thanksgiving dinner, and my family did their own yummy meal this year since Melinda and Mitchell and Jess were all there. Then they went out to Middleton for dessert and family time with Dad's side of the family. i hope it was fun for them! it made me very homesick, and made me miss my cousins! I had decided that i wanted to go at midnight to Walmart for their Black Friday sales, and all i can say is that it was definitely an adventure; the first and probably last time for a long while. people were CRAZY!!!! we didn't get very much stuff, but we stayed within our budget and got some nice presents that we needed. i am making us wrap them up and put them under our tree! oh and i forgot to mention that we put it up! i begged Caleb to let us put it up after we ate our feast, and because he loves me so much, we did. :) i was very happy about it, and sent my family a picture when it was done! they put theirs up yesterday, and sent us a picture and it made me very homesick. that's the first year i have ever missed out on it! :( but, i am definitely counting down the days until we get to go on our trip to Idaho!!!! only one more month! and Beth is coming too from Utah so i will get to spend time with her and we will all be together at Pinetop! I'm very excited about it. it should be alot of fun.

We went to our third doctor's appointment this week, and now have a date for when we will find out the gender of the baby! December 15th is the date! we will be 18 1/2 weeks then, and we are SO excited about it! everything is coming along just as it should, and i even got my weight up a bit (so proud of myself!). i don't get nauseous anymore, unless something really gross happens, or i get way too hungry or extremely tired. we got to hear the babies heart beat too! it was 140 something.... i didn't hear exactly, but Caleb said it was 140something lol. he is still determined that it is a girl. i am worried he will be disappointed :(. the doctor said it was a good strong heartbeat and everything on the ultrasound was looking good. it had its cute little hand covering its face like it was saying "please no pictures!" hehe i thought to myself "awww just like its mommy! a little camera-shy cutie pie!" at out next appointment they will spend about 45 min checking every little detail on the baby and making sure there is no problems or deformities. I'm so excited to see it upclose!!!! i love my baby already. Caleb is one proud papa! he is sooooo good to us, and is always making sure we are comfortable and have everything we need.

Caleb had his first drill this last weekend! he came home sore and tired, but happy. i am glad he is still enjoying his decision. the second day they got to go paint balling and learn some battle techniques, and he was very proud of himself for only dying once out of the four times they played. silly boy. i missed him, but i am proud of him.

We are trying to enjoy all the time that we get to spend together this holiday season, and just make good memories. i am determined to weed out all the drama in my life, cuz i really have more important things to focus on right now, and so far I've already made big improvements. its nice to feel more peaceful and happy inside when I'm not constantly stressed and worrying about unnecessary dramas! there is enough craziness going on in this season without me adding all the pointless stuff too it! the holidays may be crazy, but its definitely worth it in the end :).

Christmas Time!!!!

This may be one of the first years in a long time that i have been sooooo excited for Christmas!!! Today, Caleb and i bought our very first Christmas Tree!!! We are going to put it up on Thanksgiving, since its just the two of us and we won't be going anywhere or having anyone over. i am sooooo excited to put it up! we have all my christmas ornaments and my stocking, put Caleb's parents didn't give him any of his stuff.  i find that slightly irritating, but i am not letting it ruin my good day! It is in the 80's here today, and i find it very depressing! it is soooo not the winter that i am used to! :( alittle snow please?!?!?!? i suppose its just different... Caleb and i are trying to find our own ways of celebrating the holidays, but i still miss the ways my family does it, and i wish we were there to share it with them. BUT on the plus side.... work approved my vacation so i will get to go home to good old Nampa for a whole week starting the 28th of December! AND we will get to go to Pinetop and play in the snow!!!! well...more like Caleb will, since i probably won't be doing much playing since i will be 20 wks pregnant then lol. no snowmobiling or sledding for me... but hey, snow angels are pretty safe, right? as long as someone helps me up so i don't get stuck on the ground and freeze to death lol!!! so it looks like we will be able to spend New Year's with our familys, even if we don't Thanksgiving and Christmas. but it is still exciting :). and you know what, i think it might be nice to share our first holidays alone together, just the two of us! <3 kinda romantic, huh? ;)

Something Called Life

It is hard for me to keep track of what i have and haven't updated info on.... I have been very busy with work lately. In addition to that, i picked up a lovely cold, and was sick all weekend, so today i am home sick, trying to recuperate enough to return to work tomorrow. Caleb does not want me to push myself too hard for the baby's sake, so i am forcing myself to take it easy today and drink plenty of fluids. I figured this was the opportune time to catch up on some blogging and journaling, since i rarely have the time or energy to anymore.

Lately my response to everyone's question of "how are you???" or "hows life going?" is "oh i'm alive...." and "well, its life." haha. that seems to be the only way to express it, and luckily everyone understands exactly what that means. Life is life. It has its ups and downs... its good days, its bad days..... full of surprises, but so repetitive at the same time. Life seems to be the only way to describe it now days. Don't get me wrong, it is wonderful, and i am doing very well, its just tedious....

 I am homesick like always, and being sick has made it especially hard. I am STILL waiting to find out if i will even be able to go home and visit my family this winter.... and i'm am sick and tired of waiting around for an answer while the plane ticket prices are steadily rising. it is frustrating, and when i go back to work i am ready to take it into my own hands and find out an answer once and for all! i just hope it is the answer i want.... it is very important to me to go home, and no one seems to understand. but... i will try my best to accept whatever answer i've been given, and remember that the Lord's timing is always best.

I don't remember if i've told you, but Caleb and I were called to work in the Nursery a few weeks ago, and that has been very tiring. The last three weeks i have missed it because i have not felt well, and i feel horrible for making it seem like i'm ditching out on a calling! I am hoping i will be able to be there next week while Caleb is at drill...it will be strange going to church without him! I feel stupid because i don't really know anyone... but i still enjoy our Ward. I just don't know what i will do when Caleb is gone....

Work has been exhausting with the Holiday season starting... it seems like there are never enough people working to get everything done we are supposed to, and Management seems to be rushing EVERYTHING out, and giving us a million extra things to do every day. It makes me frustrated and worn out...and i just hope i will have the patience not to throw a hissy-fit about it, and just do what they ask me to without complaint. My coworkers are very nice, and i only have problems with certain ones...a grumpy lady named Elizabeth that i don't have to work with very much,... and then sometimes a guy named Weston. He is nice, he just likes to argue and get people's goat, and i just don't have the patience for that with this pregnancy... i ended up in tears one day, and many others i have had to literally bite my lip to keep from saying things i don't mean, and literally hold myself back from punching him in the face. I know he doesn't mean to, its just frustrating, and i just can't handle him sometimes. but other than that i don't really have any problems with anyone.

We got a new starter for the truck so that we wouldn't have to worry about getting stranded in places, and it was pretty pricey. One night i was stuck at work til almost 1 because it wouldn't start and i just bawled my head off. i felt bad because once again my parents stepped up to help us with money. I know they don't help Minda and Mitchell near us much as they help us, and i just hope its not causing problems... i really hate to ask for help so often.... i just hope they know we are grateful. This last week we again had to replace a part, when the truck decided to stall out on my way to work and leave me in the middle of a busy road. instantly i started calculating all the different amounts of money it could cost, and how much we do not have.... but luckily for us the Lord blessed us, and i did not cost us much at all. The person that happened to be right behind me was a gentleman who was a mechanic at one point, and the people right behind him was the Fire Department. So with their assistance they pulled me out of the road and quickly found the problem. Then the Fire Department transported us right down the road to an Autozone where i paid about $30 for a new ignition coil. Then the very kind gentleman installed it, and i was back on the road in under an hour. I felt very blessed, and i know that it is because we have been continuing to pay our tithing even though the times are rough that we recieved those blessings.

Life is continuing on just like it should... and there doesn't seem to be any new, exciting news to share. The baby is doing well, and i have started to show, and i find it all very exciting. the nauseousness seems to be subsiding, and i only have problems when i get hungry. i believe the mood swings are calming down too... i just hope this little cold has not caused any complications.

Keisha has moved back to Idaho, and Micah will be joining her in December. We only saw eachother a few times while she was here, and we have rarely only spoken once since she left, and all i can say is i wish her the best. I don't think it is beneficial for me to get caught up in drama anymore, so its kinda a "good riddance to you" kind of thing. I am determined to move past any relationships that are dragging me down emotionally, because i really can't handle any more drama than my own right now. If people can't be happy for me, and are only faking it, then they can go waste someone else's time. Now its not necessarily Keisha that is causing that specific problem, its just that i don't feel like naming names. it doesn't help anything, and i wish them all the best in their endeavors in life, and hopefully one day they will be able to look back and understand it all, its just not my place anymore. I need to realize that allot of the people who needed me back in high school, don't anymore, and it is ok to move past them. i can't hold back my life on memories, cuz life changes, and its supposed to. I know that i have many wonderful friends and family members that are still there for me and always will be, and those are the ones that i will spend my time thinking of, not the ones that forgot about me long ago.

But... the one thing that i am realizing is that all of this is just another part of life. You move on, you grow up, you change. if you didn't, you wouldn't be living. I think there is a big deference between living, and just existing. everyday i keep trying to remind myself "this is just another little part of a thing we like to call LIFE...."