One Month Down

Connor will be one month old on Friday! The time has gone by sooooo fast! He's finally outgrown his newborn size clothes, and he's starting to become a bit of a chunk! Lately he HATES sleeping, and will scream his head off if i try to put him down. Even if i got him to fall asleep holding him the second i lay him down he is awake and SCREAMING! i'm hopeful he will grow out of it though. He was supposed to get pictures taken today and miraculously he was sleeping when she arrived! but....she wanted him awake :( so after waking him up he was TICKED OFF! he was seriously furious that i would dare wake him up! so needless to say, it didn't go well, and will have to be redone another day. after she left he promptlly fell right back asleep. i'm a bit baffled by it since lately its been the norm for him to refuse to sleep at all, but, on the brightside, it allows me to get to do a bit of blogging and other needed things. :)

i have started a countdown until Caleb can come home! i'm very excited about it :) he will fly home August 4th!!! His graduation is the 3rd, but we will not be going since we are trying to save money, and it would be a bit stressful for me with Connor. i really wish i could go see him.... but it won't be happening, so i must be patient and wait til he returns home. we are down to 7 weeks! yay!!! i'm sooooo ready for him to be home! i have not been enjoying this whole "single mom" type experience. its not easy, and its not fun, and to be honest, i'm tired of the pitying looks i get from people. People keep telling me how strong i must be to handle all of this alone, but i'm really not. no one sees what goes on at home. behind closed doors i'm constantly on the verge of hysterical breakdowns. but i try to keep that to only when Connor is sleeping. He seems to sense when my emotions, and i don't like him getting fussy and stressed just because i am. Caleb's been gone for 20 weeks now, and we've only spent 1 week of that together. not very fun. :( i can't wait for him to be done!!! i'm tempted to make a countdown to his return chain :).

i've been a bit bummed lately because i wanted to do something special for his first Father's Day, but i couldn't. There isn't very much i could send him, and if i send a card it probably won't get there in time :(. i feel like a horrible wife! i know its not that big of a deal to him, but still. i guess i just gotta see what i can come up with in the next few days.

Squeeky Clean!

Connor got his first real bath today! he had his two week doctors appointment, and she said he was all ready to start baths! his umbilical cord did fall off last week, but there had been some left inside that still had to come out before she advised getting it wet. but at yesterdays appointment it came right off, so after waking up this morning it was bath time!!!! i tried to record parts of it for Caleb, and take pictures, but multitasking is not my strong point, so that didn't exactly work out. But thats ok lol. He seemed to really enjoy the bath after he got over the initial shock of being sat in water when that had never happened before lol. the doctor also said he is gaining weight beautifully! he's up to 8 12 now! :)

A Weekend With Daddy!

 
Caleb got to come home to spend Memorial Day Weekend with Connor! I felt like the time passed much too quickly, but we definitely got a lot done and enjoyed all the time we had together as a family. We picked him up from the airport about noon, and after a stop at home to unpack and do some snuggling we headed to the car dealership. Thursday afternoon my dad and mom had taken me to try to find a couple cars so Caleb and I wouldn't have to spend all Friday searching. We found Berge Ford, and there i found an amazing deal on a car! We had been intended to get a Ford Fusion, but there weren't any that were quite as in our price range. The car i found was DEFINITELY more affordable, and i was really excited to show Caleb. So on Friday when i showed him, we took it on a test drive, and that was all it took. I was a bit nervous to see how all the financing would go, but luckily for us, my parents were AMAZING and were willing to cosign on the loan, and in the end it all worked out beautifully! We traded the old truck in, so now i don't have to worry about breaking down wherever we go, or about being roasted in the Arizona summer heat. :) And we got more money out of the truck than we had even expected to! When Caleb and my Dad went home to get the truck i just kept praying over and over and over again please don't let it break down on the way back here!!!! Not quite sure how we would have been able to explain our way out of that one! But we were blessed, and it drove fine the whole way. Once all the papers were signed and keys were handed over i felt a huge relief! One less thing for me to have to worry about while Caleb's gone! So now we are the owners of a 2005 Ford 500 :)

We spent the rest of the weekend trying to make sure all of our money and plans are in order. We extended our lease for our apartment, and got some shopping done, and redid our budget so i have it for the rest of the time Caleb is gone and won't have to stress. We took lots and lots of naps :). And each night we watched a little bit of Tangled. We'd get so tired that we'd just go to bed and pick up where we left off the next night lol. Caleb was so sweet about waking up and helping with Connor, and several times he walked the floor with him and just let me sleep. Pretty much adore my husband! Saturday was basically a lounge day for us, but it was wonderful. Sunday we decided to take Connor to church. I know alot of people say you should keep babies at home for the first month, but honestly, that just wasn't working for me. He did really well at church til close to the end of Sunday School i had to take him and feed him, and then he got all fussy, so we just left not far into the 3rd hr. But i'm pretty sure Caleb enjoyed getting to see people. After all, he hadn't been there for 4 1/2 months! After Church we all took a nap together, and after a late dinner we went on a walk :). It was the perfect way to end our little weekend together!

Growing, Growing, Growing

I have decided that being a Mommy is the best job in the world! Only had 9 days of practice so far, but they have been amazing! Connor is such a sweet little boy...very patient, doesnt cry very often, and he makes the cutest little sounds and faces! I can't wait for Caleb to get to see him!!! He'll be here tomorrow :) it will be so wonderful! This past week Connor has seemed to grow so much! His umbilical cord fell off this morning too. And he has been doing very well puttting weight back on! :) i sure wish he wouldnt scratch his face though lol. He had his first Drs Appoinment this week and his weight was back up to 8 lbs 1oz... and he'd already grown 1/2 inch! 21 1/2 inches now! We took him in again today becuase he had this weird lump on his head, but she said it was normal, and like a bruise from the pushing. He has gained more weight already and is 8lbs 5ozs now! Probably because he likes his eating so much now lol :) We have another appointment next week. Hopefully he'll just continue to grow strong and healthy! We're going to have a very exciting weekend while his Daddy is here! Soooooo excited!!!!

He's Here!!!!!

Connor Scott Barthlome - Born Tuesday May 17th, 2011 at 11:32 AM. 8 lbs, 9ozs, 21 inches long.

It was a long process, but he's finally here! We went in to be induced Monday morning, but by the end of the night still had made little progress. My mom came back home to sleep for the night, but i called her around 3 in the morning and told her to come back because i was dialated to a 4 and they were going to start me on the IV. i was a whimp and asked for an epidural only 1/2 an hr after that, but i felt sooooo much better after. It was hard not having Caleb there, or even being able to be in constant contact with him. Through alot of the process he had no clue what was going on. By 8:30 i had reached an 8, and had to have to Anesthesiologist come back in because only half of me was numb. I was worried that would happen due to my scoliosis, but after he came in and fixed it up i was completely fine: completely unabe to move my legs of feel at all, and that was just how i wanted it. When i was finally ready to start pushing Caleb called me from just getting out of class, and was able to get on Skype! So he was able to share in the birth somewhat by atleast being able to watch and talk me through the pushing. It was a wonderful tender mercy from the Lord in my mind. It only took about an hr and a half to push, and when he was finally out he was perfect! He was born with one litte hand by his face, which i thought was so cute since in ultrasounds he was always covering his face up with his hands. I was able to call American Red Cross shortly after the birth, and they FINALLY sent a message to his base, so Caleb is getting t come home this next weekend to see us!!! :) He decided to wait to come until Memorial Day Weekend because they get a 4 day weekend, so he won't have to miss any school, therefor his Graduation date won't get pushed back any. :) I can definently tell the Lord is very mindeful of our needs.

I got to bring Connor home on Thursday. He is the sweetest little boy, and rarely cries. He loves his sleep, and has finally gotten the hang of the eating thing! I have been taking all sorts of pictures and videos for Caleb so that he will not miss out on anything. Caleb flies in around 10 on Friday, and will get to stay until Monday when he flies out early that morning. It will be a short trip, but definitely worth it :). My mom heads home Friday with my Dad. He is flying down Thursday and then they are driving back together. I'm kind of nervous for it to just be me and Connor here at home, but i am confidant we will be through it despite difficulties. And we are planning to get a new car while Caleb is here, so that should solve all the car troubles we have had, and keep Connor and i from roasting to death this summer.I am definitely taking advantage of every minute I'll have with my men this weekend! :)

A Final Date

Well, we have an official date for when our little guy should be here. Being induced on Monday the 16th. There was once again no progress at my appointment earlier this week, so, we went ahead and scheduled an induction. I was super excited about it at first, because i figured if it was all scheduled ahead of time then we could arrange to have Caleb there....but no such luck. The American Red Cross won't send word to his base unless its a medical emergency, and because of heightened security right now there is no way Caleb can be allowed to leave without that message. So, needless to say, i was ticked off...thinking a million angry, mean things, and swearing i'd never again give blood for those horrible red cross people! Any attempts to calm me down or even pity me only made me more angry...and Caleb was pretty much heartbroken over the fact that he won't be there. But I suppose thats what i get for trying to plan these types of things, and getting my heart set on something that has to be approved by the military... i can hear my dad's voice in my head reminding me "its all a bunch of hurry-up and wait!" but i wasnt listening to that voice beforehand, and now i've paid the consequences of extreme disappointment....way to go me! So now i'm just waiting until Monday, and wishing people would just stop asking me when Caleb is coming. He's not...don't know if he'll be allowed to...don't know how long he can stay...don't even know anything at all. Its all alot more frustrating than i remember it being...but inspite of it, i'm remaining mostly positive. but i cant promise not to punch the next person who bugs me about him missing it. I will once again call the red cross on monday, this time when in labor, and see if they will send a message. if they won't, then after the birth they will have to. then Caleb should be able to find out what kind of leave and how much they will give him and when. nothing will be known until after that red cross message is sent, and thats the bottom line. but i am confidant that despite however it works out, things will turn out ok, and it will work out in the way Heavenly Father intends it to. Even if it isn't how i want it to work out, i will survive. im learning to see this whole experience in a different light, even though its not enjoyable whatsoever... its definently a learning experience. And i am grateful to have my mom here with me for all of this. if i cant have Caleb with me, the next best thing is my Mommy.

Anxiously Waiting

And waiting.....and waiting....and waiting....

Pretty much thats all life consists of right now. Just continuely trying to remind myself to be PATIENT and he'll come when he's ready!!!!! I never expected it to be like this. But all i can say, is that i am ready to hold my baby, and i'm ready to see my hubby. My Doctor's Appointment last week was not as encouraging as i'd hoped due to the fact that i still have not continued to progress. Grr! But... if that is still the case this Tuesday then we will start talking induction. Which scares me a bit to tell you the truth... but at the same time.... if i were to get induced there is a million more times a chance that Caleb will be there with me. Which i would LOVE! So now i'm just trying to hang on two more days until the doctor says whether Connor will be making an appearance on his own, or whether we will be gettin him out whether he likes it or not! I'm nervous and excited, but mainly anxious. My mom and me have been doing our best to keep busy with little projects (mainly scrapbooking) and lots and lots of walks. But my little guy still insists on being stubborn! Caleb said he must get that from me :) hehe. The waiting game is really starting to kill me! My due date is on Friday, and my doctor doesn't want to let me go too far past it, so i think its safe to say that within 2 weeks he will be out FOR SURE!!!!!! atleast that thought gives me a bit of peace lol. :) stay tuned for updates!