It's Just Not My Friend.....

you're probably wondering "what the heck is she talking about???? what's not her friend????" well, i'll tell you.

COOKING...... baking.... anything that has to do with food pretty much...its really not my friend.

i have this uncanny ability to ruin anything i try to cook for my poor husband :( last night i decided to make him this easy cheesecake i found in the cupboard that looked SO YUMMY!!!! i was even going to attempt to make it extra special and add my own starwberry filling stuff that i found a recipe for. i was pretty nervous that it would turn out disgusting, but it looked pretty darn delicious. so i tasted a bit as i handed a big slice to Caleb.... and yeah.... uh, it was definently DISGUSTING! i couldn't figure out what was wrong with it, but after a bit i thought to myself...uh... is that stale i'm tasting????? so i mention my thought to Caleb and he has the brilliant idea to check the expiration date. why didn't i think of that?!?!?!?! it would have saved me a whole load of embarassement after my husband points out to me that i just fed him cheesecake that expired in 2009..... way to go Rebecca! nasty! so then i had to throw the whole beautiful creation away, and brush my teeth to get rid of the horrible taste. totally humiliating huh??? that seems to be the norm whenever i attempt to go above and beyond when in the kitchen. i should probably stick to the easy, cheap, simply cooked meals. grrr.

And another reason i'm just not friends with cooking and food is that i can't seem to eat healthy enough to loose weight! i think i've hit a wall with it, and i'm steadily loosing my motivation to work out. its horrible, and i really need some encouragement, but nothings working. i just hate it :( it was working wonderfully when i could just make my portion sizes smaller, but now that i'm cooking for Caleb also, he eats alot more than me, so i have to make bigger meals and i sit there and eat a ton as i chat to him over dinner. it is HORRIBLE!!! sometimes i think i need someone to save me from my own bad habits! :( Caleb and i go on walks several times a week, and we walk about 1 1/2 miles. he makes me keep a pretty brisk pace (well its seems brisk to me, but i know he slows down alot for me) so atleast i'm doing a bit of a workout. i feel horrible though. its definently time to reevaluate my workout goals, and learn some nutritious recipes that i won't ruin!!!

Sometimes Life Sucks

I  hate when you're planning and planning and planning something...and you're so excited about it...and then it doesn't work out :(. It puts me in a "I hate life" mood...  which I'm trying to learn to avoid. So I've changed my thought process to the fact that yes it doesn't always work out like you want or expected, but that's life and yes its not always enjoyable,  but either way you'll survive. I'm not really having fun changing my thought process but its for the best. And I need to just get over it and quit complaining. So if you catch me being negative just remind me to get over it. Ok? Thanks. I need a serious attitude adjustment. That's all.

He's Home!!!!

Our little family is back together again and its sooooo wonderful!!! Connor was a bit confused at first because he only recognizes Caleb from Skype and he didn't seem to understand what was going on. He forgot Caleb was here today and Caleb jumped up and said "hi baby!!!!" And he started bawling. I think he scared him a bit. But as the day has gone by he's definitely warmed up to his daddy. :) Caleb was talking to him and making him smile and then out of the blue he LAUGHED!!! his daddy got him to really laugh for the first time ever!!! It was so precious to watch! I'm very excited to go to church tomorrow as a family :) we've just been lounging around this weekend trying to get Caleb settled in. His sleeping schedule is very messed up from the three hr time difference!  He'll fall asleep at 8 and be up wide awake by 4 or 5 lol crazy guy! We're definitely enjoying being together though :) man have I missed snuggling!!!! I love my boys!

The Excitement Sets In

i'm seriously freaking out with excitement! my husband will be home TOMORROW!!!!!! i'm frantically cleaning the apartment  to keep myself busy. its a whole lot harder to do with a cute little baby who wants attention. but i don't mind :) anything to help the time pass quickly. caleb is busy with graduation today, and already packed and ready to come home! i can tell he is super anxious for leaving! he really wants to see his baby boy!

Connor is seriously the sweetest baby i've ever seen. i feel so lucky to have him! he rarely cries, and when he does its about the equivalent of a kitten meowing for attention. my friend Marne pointed that out and i realized it is so true... hes a harmless baby kitten, just quietly batting at things for attention, and being so innocently loveable and cute! i can't wait for his daddy to get to hold him again!!!! they are so cute to watch together! i just love them!

It's The Big Week!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!

My husband will be home on Thursday! i'm so excited! it's wonderful to be able to think to myself  "Caleb will be home THIS WEEK!" i've been so excited about it i can hardly sleep, and i tell Connor over and over "daddy's coming home Connor, daddy's coming home!" pretty sure he has no clue what i'm saying, but he seems to sense that something exciting will happen. and i'm pretty sure he recognizes Caleb's voice from skyping, so it is going to be a wonderful reunion of our little family!!! i am so proud of my husband! he has worked so hard to finish his training with flying colors, and today he found out that he is a distinguished honors graduate!!!!! that is only awarded to the top few people in his class! that right there is proof that he has been doing a wonderful job! he obviously picked the right job for himself :). it now makes sense why his teachers said it was a waste that he's national guard instead of active duty. my dad said he would have got promoted for that if he'd been active duty. but either way, that is still a huge accomplishment for him and i'm incredibly proud! his graduation ceremony is Wednesday, but it is optional, so he may not go to it since we won't be there to take pictures or anything,and he won't be getting anything from it. But the important thing is that he gets to fly home the next day! he said he won't know his itinerary until that day, so he will have to let me know after he finds out, and then i can figure out when to be at the airport to pick him up. i will wait around all day if  i have to! i'm so so SO excited its finally time for him to come home!!!!

A Small Amount of Progress

So yesterday i tried on the three pairs of pre-pregnancy jeans that i saved as "motivational tools", and i was pleasantly surprised when two pairs of them actually could fit over my big butt and hips and button up! by no means do they look good buttoned, but i was a bit pleased to see that i could even get them on! before i couldn't get them past my thighs! they are a bit tight, and give me a serious muffin top issue, but i was still thrilled when i checked the sizes to see what they were! both pairs i could get on are Maurices jeans and they were a size 3 and a size 3/4! not bad for just having a baby 10 weeks ago, right??? i know i still need alot of work through the love handle area, but it was nice to see that I've slimmed down through the thigh area :). i now have even more motivation to get back into shape from the results i've been seeing! i'm very curious to know what weight i'm sitting at now, but i don't have a scale because i'm one of those people that prefers to just look and feel good instead of be paranoid about a certain weight. i guess that's why i've been keeping the jeans to measure how much i'm improving by how well they're fitting again. i've been trying hard to watch what i eat, and make sure i'm doing a short workout every day, and i'm very glad that it is very slowly making a difference. its a bit of a struggle to do long workouts because Connor gets so bored and fussy and wants attention, so i was hopeful even my small amounts of effort would pay off, and luckily they're beginning to :)

While i've been getting smaller and smaller, Connor has been getting bigger and bigger! He has now outgrown most of his 0-3 month size clothes, even though he is still only 2 months! i haven't been too sad about it because his 3-6 month clothes are ADORABLE! but it has been a pain to switch him to size 2 diapers when there's a whole thing of size 1 left unused. but, i'd prefer not to have blowouts, so the size 1 will just have to wait until the next kid comes along in a couple years. Connor has stared drooling a TON, so lately i've been putting bibs on him to help catch all the dripping drool. he's got the cutest bibs lol my favorite says "lock up your daughters" haha. which is great because he's got such a habit of flirting with the ladies already! his pediatrician told me this is the age they start teething even though we won't see teeth for quite a while, so i'm guessing that is the reason for all the drooly mess. and he's obsessed with sticking his tongue out so that probably doesn't help it much either. but he's so stinking cute its all worth it! and another thing that is worth it, is the money i spent to put the little music mobile for his crib. that thing really works! whenever its nap time or time for bed i'll stick him in his crib and turn it on, and by the time the music stops he's out like a rock! he LOVES it! he just stares and stares at it and as long as he's sleepy he won't even cry. i seriously love that thing. Connor is very receptive to routines and i barely have to do anything because he's fallen into the routine all by himself. it is such a blessing for me! i'm very glad to have such a sweet little baby!

My Little Chunk!

Well after Connor's doctor appointment the other day it is now official... he's a chunky little guy!!! he's in the 70th percentile with weight at 12 lbs 15 ozs, and in the 90th percentile with height at 24 3/4 inches! She said he is definently growing well though :). and both her and the nurse commented on how he is such a flirt already. i was thinking to myself oh no, he's sure getting a head start on all this!!!! he also got his shots and it was soooo hard to watch! i was in tears myself :(. i was very impressed that it took me less than five minutes to calm him down afterwards though. he's such a little sweetheart! we got to Skype his Daddy when we got home too and it seemed to be nice for Connor :).

I have spent the last couple days trying to convince myself that i can get through next week just fine. Caleb has their final field exercise, which means he wont have his phone at all. they leave tomorrow night and won't be back until Saurday. :( i know i should be able to survive it, i'm just a big baby and dont necessarily WANT to lol. after getting to txt him every day these last few months its hard to think i won't get to talk to him. but i'm trying to remind myself that after he's back he will have less than a week left before he will be home with us! its exciting to think its coming so soon, and i'm soooo ready to have him home! i've been working hard to get back in shape so he doesn't come home to a shabby flabby wife! he would never think that of me though, thats just me saying what i think of myself lol. its horrible i know, but i'm using it to help motivate me. i've bren keeping up a workout 5 or 6 times a week of usually 25-30 minutes, plus making sure i'm not eating a ton of fatty junk food. it seems to be slowly making a difference. byt then again, maybe its the fact that half the clothes i'm still wearing are maternity... haha. and the other half are too small! wish i could buy a new wardrobe!!!!

July 17th

July 21st