Changes Ahead

Well, recently there have been many new things happening in our life. Some wonderful things, other, not so wonderful things. But i am trying to take the bad along with the good, and just accept my fate in life. Perhaps fate isn't the right word, because i don't really think my life is a set in stone thing that can't be changed no matter what i do. I guess its more like a path, or something inspirational sounding like that. But anyways, that's not really the important things i have to say. Lately we have been going through a rough patch in terms of financial stability (i say it that way to make myself feel like its a more interesting problem then just plain "we are freakin poor right now".), and anyone who has been in that situation can and will probably agree with me that that is not a fun place to be. I was lucky enough to be raised in a home where i was never in want of food or clothes or toys, or any other pleasantries of life. We were not spoiled growing up, but we also never had to feel hunger, or bear the burden of financial stress. Caleb on the other hand, did see financial stress growing up, and he did have to bear the burden of what that brought to his family. Poverty and debt can complicate the blissfulness of family life more than many other things can. But, now as newlyweds, we are also having to bear that burden. When people told us how hard marriage was financially i don't think we were quite prepared for what would come. We are as much in love as ever, but love doesn't get you everything you need in life unfortunately. Lately we have been very grateful for the job i have recently found, but i am still not making enough to make ends meet even half way. So, for the first time, we had to humble ourselves and ask for assistance from our ward. We were surprised at how willing to help our bishop was, and for the generosity of the church. and at once i had the overwhelming feeling of gratefulness for being a member of this wonderful gospel, and for all the members that are so willing to sacrifice and help those people in need, even if they do not know them. Although this was a hard thing for me to do, i immediately felt a relief from the stress that has been piling up and causing so many sleepless nights, and exhausting days.

Although we are receiving help now, we know that we must find a way to make more money. We are grateful for the assistance we are receiving but we know that it can not last forever, and that we need to be independent and be able to rely on ourselves. So, we set to work trying to think of ideas of jobs for Caleb. Somewhat out of the blue, Caleb began talking about the National Guard. He had mentioned this before, but each time i had promptly shut him down and told him there would be absolutely no more talk of it. But this time, i did not. I desperately wanted to, but deep down i knew it was right. I had spent so much time the last several years trying to erase that idea out of his mind, but what i had forgotten was that he has been talking about the military since as long as I've known him, and for my sake, he was continually shoving it into the back of his mind. But now I have finally given in. i don't know why it is right, and i have absolutely no idea what this will bring us in the future, but i have faith that Heavenly Father won't lead us astray, and that for whatever reason, this is right for us. I am terrified, and dreading the long months of being apart that will come. But i will get through it somehow. Tuesday Caleb will meet with his recruitment officer and do all of the enlisting things he still has to do. He has already filled out all of the paperwork, but he still has to take a test that tells him the job options he has based on how smart he is. After Tuesday we should know all the details, but i do know that they are planning on basic training in January - 10 whole weeks apart with little contact. This is very different from the plan i had when we first moved down here. School will have to be put off until all the training is done, which could take up to 6 months for his specialized training of whatever job he pursues. at this point i have no idea where we will be one year from now. i just hope wherever it is, and whatever we are doing, is what the Lord would have us do.

Before we made the decision to pursue the military, i had everything planned out. now i have no clue if my plans will fit in with the arrangements that will be happening. We had March 29th on our calender for the day we are going to be sealed. i am still hoping that works for us... but at this point, who knows. We are working towards having Caleb an elder by the end of November, which we are very excited about, and we were going to take temple prep classes together in January. but like i said.... i have no idea what the plans are now. But i just have to remember it all happens for a reason, and that it will work out in the Lord's timing.

There is other news to tell, but I'm afraid that will have to wait until a later date. Check back often for an update on us, because as you can tell, life is a constant whirlwind of changes for us right now, and will mostly likely continue to be.