I Miss My Hubby...

That pretty much says it all. i miss him. alot. you'd expect it to get easier.. but i think its getting worse :(. i think my mental breakdowns are happening more and more often, and its getting harder to snap out of it and get through the day without being sad. i just miss him. i'm ready for him to be home... thank goodness theres only three more weeks. on nights like tonight when Connor refuses to sleep, i just want to curl up in a little ball and cry my eyes out. but it doesn't accomplish anything, so i dont. but that doesn't stop me from wishing i could. i can't decide if it was easier before Connor was here, or now. yes its nice to not be alone, and to have someone to focus on and take care of and love, but it hard to live the single mom life. i'm very very VERY ready for Caleb to be back home. i know he'll be busy the majority of the time, but i need to have our little snuggle sessions again where i can just talk and talk and talk about whatever i feel like. i miss my best friend! :(

Enough of my boring old sob story. on to the more interesting things in life. this week Connor and i have been trying to keep busy! i'm working on getting Connor started on a routine. i need to find a bit of an easy, expected schedule in my days instead of all the chaos. He seems to be adapting relatively well, but he still wakes up for a feeding in the middle of the night even though he doesn't necessarily need it (i honestly think he just does it out of habit, and i'm hoping to change that!) and he seems to have trouble falling asleep at bed time. he'll sleep for 15- 30 minutes then wake up and want to be held, just to fall back asleep after like 15 minutes. i'm not quite sure the reasoning for it, but i'm hoping we will get it figured out. i didn't have to work very hard at scheduling naps during the day because he already had a bit of a habit with his naps. he takes a short nap in the early afternoon, then a longer one after lunch time, and usually another very very short one in the early evening. it seemed odd to me at first... but he did it very regularly so i'm just letting him continue it until it stops working for us. i used to not ever go out, so i would just run errands at the times that seemed suitable, but lately i've been having different appointments and going out more, so i decided it was best if i knew when his naps usually are, so i know when its best to schedule things and when it will throw of his daily routine and cause problems. yes, he is a very very sweet baby, but he sure does have a temper when he gets too tired!!!!

I have been continuing my pilates workout every morning, and i can honestly say i'm enjoying it. i feel healthier and seem to have more energy. i like it. i ate a pizza for dinner the other night, and the next morning felt soooo sluggish and tired, and could barely do my workout. i think it may encourage me to eat healthier so i can keep up the workouts and not feel so horrible during them! yesterday we even went on a walk in the evening after it cooled down outside. it was about a 1/2 hr walk, and i kept up a pretty brisk pace the whole time, so it was definitely a bit of cardio to add to my workout. i enjoyed it and i'm thinking of making a habit of doing it a few times a week. i was at my doctors this week because i had a somewhat suspicious looking mole my doctor wanted to send off to a lab just in case there was anything to worry about, and i was really excited because i've lost more baby weight! yay! im down to 144! it still seems like alot to me, and before this pregnancy i had never ever EVER been anywhere close to that weight, so i'm still a bit intimidated by the amount to loose, but i'm determined. my sister told me shes 5 lbs lighter now than she was when she got pregnant, so im determined to do the same. hopefully if i work my butt off it will start to show! atleast in time for our trip to idaho... i'd hate for everyone there to see me and think "oh wow... she's gotten huge". i don't want my weight to be the first thing anyone notices. but i would LOVE if there reaction was "wow... she really just had a baby?!?!!?" that would be great. and its also highly unrealistic, but who cares. if you shoot for the moon, you may end up reaching a star! and thats still an improvement right???

i went to the dentist for the first time in nearly 18 months, and once again, not a single cavity!!! yay! i was so proud of myself. 21 and never had a cavity. i got complimented for my great teeth! i thank my mother for them. :) i even made sure to tell her that today. she told my my baby bro is getting braces on Wednesday. he needs them bad i know, but i hated my braces! i feel bad for him. i'm grateful i had them, and i love my nice smile now, but they're a pain. but i know his teeth are a million times worse than mine ever were though, so i'm sure this will be a great thing for him. Also this week i found out that i totally forgot i had only 60 days to get Connor enrolled in TriCare (the military insurance), and had to rush to mail Caleb Connor's birth certificate and social security card so he can get him into DEERS so i can get him in TriCare. its a pain.... thats all i have to say. i'm really hopeful that it won't take long though because Connor has his two month checkup next thursday when he's supposed to get his shots... i may have to postpone it until his insurance becomes effective though. i don't know how long that will take.... ugh the joys of insurance. i'm grateful to have it though, and i'm well aware the amount of money it saves us. i'm currently triple covered, and i was pleasantly shocked when i found out how much money it saved us from Connor's birth. kind of a relief to pay nearly nothing for him! babies are ridiculously expensive.... but i think Connor is well worth it :).